Beautiful Widows and Stunning Vistas

There are 700 widows involved with The River – Rwanda organization. They live all over the country and have been organized into local support groups. The River – Rwanda has helped these women find ways to provide for themselves; some women are involved in farming, some basket weaving and others jewelry making. The River -Rwanda tries to do what they can for these widows when they have money and when they don’t.






I have had the privilege of twice visiting one such support group. To get to them we must drive up a steep mountain along a dusty dirt road. We pass women carrying baskets on their heads and babies on their backs, men pushing bicycles loaded with water jugs or supplies, and children waving and shouting, ‘muzungu, muzungu!’ upon seeing me. Once the road ends, we take a dirt trail through a sea of banana trees to a small mud home on the mountainside. The view from this spot is nothing short of spectacular. But upon looking around you realize this isn’t prime real estate. There are many impoverished people living here, toiling out a basic existence. A common misconception in western nations is that people such as this don’t work hard enough or have done something wrong to land themselves in extreme poverty. But reality is exactly the opposite for most of these people.




We enter the yard of the mud home and one by one greet the widows who have gathered together. Some are wrinkled with age and likely lost their husbands and children in the genocide. Others are young with small children so perhaps their husbands have recently passed away from sickness and disease. Either way, I find them instantly charming and lovely. They are so welcoming and allow me to take photos as they work at their weaving or bead making. Jackie and James (The River – Rwanda founders) converse with these women to find out how they are doing and how we can help them. They tell us they are low on supplies for their jewelry and basket making and are also struggling to find fair trade for their creations. They are frequently forced to sell their wares locally for a dollar or two above the raw material cost because they have hungry bellies to fill and basic needs to provide.



I ask one lady to teach me. She kindly shows me step-by-step how she makes a beautiful basket from dried grass, plastic strips and thread. A large basket will take two days or more to complete. So much care and precision goes into this work and I’m certain I can’t replicate their talents.


I brought some Canada stickers with me on the second visit. The kind you get at the dollar store - a simple page of stickers. I thought the kids would enjoy them, which they did. And the women enjoyed them just as much. They wanted to put these stickers on their best blouses, their special clothes reserved for church on Sunday.


Their gift to me is a fresh papaya just cut down from a nearby tree. But they have given me much more than that. This is an experience I will never forget.

After spending a couple hours here, it’s time to return home. I don’t want to leave. I enjoy being here so much. I feel privileged to interact with these women, to watch them work. They work hard and they have a sense of humor. Even though they have many troubles in their lives, their eyes are filled with hope. They are so beautiful!



We spend some time in prayer all together and then we leave in a trail of red dust, a throng of kids chasing our truck and waving goodbye.

I spend the ride home thinking about how we can help. What can The River –Rwanda do to give these women a steady income, not a handout; to empower them, to give them the ability and opportunity to provide for themselves and their families? Thankfully, it’s not all up to us. This is God’s business and He can do infinitely more than we can think, ask or imagine!


Jackie and James


One of the widow's baskets


Beads handmade from scrap paper







Can you spot the muzungu?

Wedding

I attended a Rwandese wedding. It was a two-day affair steeped in tradition. Day one is held at the bride’s home, in her front yard. This is the especially traditional part where the fathers of the bride and groom put on a performance of negotiating the exchange of a ‘dowry’ of cows, gifts etc. in order for the bride to be given for marriage. They sit at tables places on opposite sides of the yard, with guests sitting behind either the groom’s family table or the brides’s. The fathers actually dialogue and act the whole negotiation out, even going outside and checking if the ‘cows’ being given are to the bride’s father’s satisfaction. Once an ‘agreement’ has been reached, the bride will be called out of her home. She parades out behind an entourage of dancers, male family members and bridesmaids and is greeted by her groom. There are dances and songs performed, drinks and gifts exchanged. This ceremony took three hours at the particular wedding I attended.

Day two is a more familiar event - a church ceremony (which I didn’t attend) followed by a reception. The reception was held outside under white tents. Guests are seated in rows of chairs and served sodas, basically acting as spectators in a performance. There were more speeches and traditions, songs sung and a dance performed. They had a wedding cake cutting and passed out cake to the guests. We skipped out a bit early, so I’m not sure how late the reception went. Maybe they had a first dance, bouquet and boutonniere toss, or other elements making up what we know as a wedding reception; maybe not. Either way, a celebration of love and the joining of two people and two families!

The bride's father at his table

View from the groom's father's table

The groom (far left) and his groomsmen. Check out their walking sticks!

Bridesmaids

The bride and groom on Day 1


Reception, Day 2


Quick Update: Little Eric has returned! Also, Eric and Frank's school fees have been paid for by a generous donation and they are now back in school :)

The River - Rwanda

Well, sadly, little Eric is gone. He left almost a week ago and we haven’t seen him since. I miss him and really hope he is okay! It breaks my heart to think about the possibility of him sleeping on the street and begging during the day. I don’t understand why he leaves? But that’s the thing with someone who is deaf and mute, and who hasn’t learned to read, write or use proper sign language. He really can’t communicate much. And what a tragedy that is. I just want to know his story.

This past weekend I had the privilege of hearing the life stories of the other kids I live with. I hope I get to share a few of their stories with you sometime. Oh, and I posted a few more photos of them in the previous entry.

The neighborhood kids here are the cutest. And they like my blindingly white skin (although a few are deathly afraid!). When I walk down the road they come running to shake my hand and say the only English they know, “How are you?” or “Good morning!” I feel so special! But, truthfully, any muzungu will elicit the same reaction. Some have swollen bellies and most have tattered clothes. I am in love with all of them.

I usually get a different reaction around the neighborhood with grown ups. Some might greet me in English and a few might try French, but most just stare. I always feel people looking at me, watching me. It’s curiosity, perhaps. Not my favourite thing but comes with the territory I suppose.

So, I came here to help out James and Jackie. They have big dreams for their organization, The River – Rwanda, and I hope I can be a small part of helping them get there. They are doing what they can to run a nursery school and to help widows and orphans right now but there isn’t really much structure or funding in place. I hope we can get some things accomplished in the next month and a half.

Nursery school



Typical road

Jackie in the vehicle


We live close to the airport and hear/see probably every plane that lands at Kigali International


Family photos


Lunch - sweet potato and sauce with veggies

Neighborhood kids (little Eric in the middle)

and more kids

Twelve

There are twelve of us. Jackie, my original contact here. James, her husband; Liam, their one year old son. Jackie’s brother Eric also lives here. He is seventeen and was going to secondary school but there is no money for school fees right now (about $100 per term). He might be able to finish in another three years.

Then Frank and Monica, two of Jackie’s cousins. Frank lives with us because his family is unable to support him. He was also going to secondary, but again, no money for school right now. He is about twenty years old. Monica is going to secondary and will finish this year. She is eighteen and moved in to be closer to her school.

Next are the orphans - Matthew, Sylvan, Diama and Delfina. The first three attend school but Delfina has never been to school. She is about eighteen years old and cares for Liam during the day. We hope she will decide to go to vocational school soon. That makes ten. Then me.

And twelve is little Eric, a deaf street kid. He can’t talk either, but is quite a character - very energetic, smart and funny. He is probably around twelve years old but doesn’t know his actual age or birthday. Jackie has known him for four years. He stays around for a while and then goes back to the street, not quite able to adjust to living full time here with their family. He attended school for only one year and quit. Little Eric can hear some noise. When a plane flies low overhead he runs outside and looks up. I asked Jackie if he had ever had a hearing test? No. So we took him last week. The results weren’t great, but I am really hopeful a hearing aid or something could help him. We will have a prognosis in the next few weeks. He is sticking around the house now because I am here. He likes muzungus – the Rwandese version of ‘gringo’. We are really hoping he will stay for the whole two months I am here. It would do a lot of good for him. Maybe he will even attend school again next year and not go back to the street.

This family relies on God for everything they have. They receive support to rent the house they live in, buy the food they eat and purchase the vehicle they have. Sometimes the support is enough and sometimes it isn’t.

Jackie and James have started an organization called The River Rwanda. Their goal and vision is to help orphans, widows and others in their country. This is why I am here, to help with the beginning stages of this. It can be quite slow going and difficult at times. That is reality.

Please keep us in your prayers; we can do nothing without our faithful God.

Frank

Monica

Sylvan

Matthew

Eric and Eric

Diama

Delfina

Liam on his 1st birthday

Eric & I

Eric's hearing test

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Kitchen - everything is cooked over coals

My lovely room

Backyard - my favourite spot!