Wedding

I attended a Rwandese wedding. It was a two-day affair steeped in tradition. Day one is held at the bride’s home, in her front yard. This is the especially traditional part where the fathers of the bride and groom put on a performance of negotiating the exchange of a ‘dowry’ of cows, gifts etc. in order for the bride to be given for marriage. They sit at tables places on opposite sides of the yard, with guests sitting behind either the groom’s family table or the brides’s. The fathers actually dialogue and act the whole negotiation out, even going outside and checking if the ‘cows’ being given are to the bride’s father’s satisfaction. Once an ‘agreement’ has been reached, the bride will be called out of her home. She parades out behind an entourage of dancers, male family members and bridesmaids and is greeted by her groom. There are dances and songs performed, drinks and gifts exchanged. This ceremony took three hours at the particular wedding I attended.

Day two is a more familiar event - a church ceremony (which I didn’t attend) followed by a reception. The reception was held outside under white tents. Guests are seated in rows of chairs and served sodas, basically acting as spectators in a performance. There were more speeches and traditions, songs sung and a dance performed. They had a wedding cake cutting and passed out cake to the guests. We skipped out a bit early, so I’m not sure how late the reception went. Maybe they had a first dance, bouquet and boutonniere toss, or other elements making up what we know as a wedding reception; maybe not. Either way, a celebration of love and the joining of two people and two families!

The bride's father at his table

View from the groom's father's table

The groom (far left) and his groomsmen. Check out their walking sticks!

Bridesmaids

The bride and groom on Day 1


Reception, Day 2


Quick Update: Little Eric has returned! Also, Eric and Frank's school fees have been paid for by a generous donation and they are now back in school :)

The River - Rwanda

Well, sadly, little Eric is gone. He left almost a week ago and we haven’t seen him since. I miss him and really hope he is okay! It breaks my heart to think about the possibility of him sleeping on the street and begging during the day. I don’t understand why he leaves? But that’s the thing with someone who is deaf and mute, and who hasn’t learned to read, write or use proper sign language. He really can’t communicate much. And what a tragedy that is. I just want to know his story.

This past weekend I had the privilege of hearing the life stories of the other kids I live with. I hope I get to share a few of their stories with you sometime. Oh, and I posted a few more photos of them in the previous entry.

The neighborhood kids here are the cutest. And they like my blindingly white skin (although a few are deathly afraid!). When I walk down the road they come running to shake my hand and say the only English they know, “How are you?” or “Good morning!” I feel so special! But, truthfully, any muzungu will elicit the same reaction. Some have swollen bellies and most have tattered clothes. I am in love with all of them.

I usually get a different reaction around the neighborhood with grown ups. Some might greet me in English and a few might try French, but most just stare. I always feel people looking at me, watching me. It’s curiosity, perhaps. Not my favourite thing but comes with the territory I suppose.

So, I came here to help out James and Jackie. They have big dreams for their organization, The River – Rwanda, and I hope I can be a small part of helping them get there. They are doing what they can to run a nursery school and to help widows and orphans right now but there isn’t really much structure or funding in place. I hope we can get some things accomplished in the next month and a half.

Nursery school



Typical road

Jackie in the vehicle


We live close to the airport and hear/see probably every plane that lands at Kigali International


Family photos


Lunch - sweet potato and sauce with veggies

Neighborhood kids (little Eric in the middle)

and more kids

Twelve

There are twelve of us. Jackie, my original contact here. James, her husband; Liam, their one year old son. Jackie’s brother Eric also lives here. He is seventeen and was going to secondary school but there is no money for school fees right now (about $100 per term). He might be able to finish in another three years.

Then Frank and Monica, two of Jackie’s cousins. Frank lives with us because his family is unable to support him. He was also going to secondary, but again, no money for school right now. He is about twenty years old. Monica is going to secondary and will finish this year. She is eighteen and moved in to be closer to her school.

Next are the orphans - Matthew, Sylvan, Diama and Delfina. The first three attend school but Delfina has never been to school. She is about eighteen years old and cares for Liam during the day. We hope she will decide to go to vocational school soon. That makes ten. Then me.

And twelve is little Eric, a deaf street kid. He can’t talk either, but is quite a character - very energetic, smart and funny. He is probably around twelve years old but doesn’t know his actual age or birthday. Jackie has known him for four years. He stays around for a while and then goes back to the street, not quite able to adjust to living full time here with their family. He attended school for only one year and quit. Little Eric can hear some noise. When a plane flies low overhead he runs outside and looks up. I asked Jackie if he had ever had a hearing test? No. So we took him last week. The results weren’t great, but I am really hopeful a hearing aid or something could help him. We will have a prognosis in the next few weeks. He is sticking around the house now because I am here. He likes muzungus – the Rwandese version of ‘gringo’. We are really hoping he will stay for the whole two months I am here. It would do a lot of good for him. Maybe he will even attend school again next year and not go back to the street.

This family relies on God for everything they have. They receive support to rent the house they live in, buy the food they eat and purchase the vehicle they have. Sometimes the support is enough and sometimes it isn’t.

Jackie and James have started an organization called The River Rwanda. Their goal and vision is to help orphans, widows and others in their country. This is why I am here, to help with the beginning stages of this. It can be quite slow going and difficult at times. That is reality.

Please keep us in your prayers; we can do nothing without our faithful God.

Frank

Monica

Sylvan

Matthew

Eric and Eric

Diama

Delfina

Liam on his 1st birthday

Eric & I

Eric's hearing test

Home


Kitchen - everything is cooked over coals

My lovely room

Backyard - my favourite spot!

Changing Their Future

Rwanda. Genocide. Yes, this country is known worldwide for a dark spot in recent history. I have been to two of many genocide memorials here and learned more about what happened. If you have never read up on Rwandan history I would highly encourage you to do so. Many people aren’t aware that massacres began in 1959 and continued on and off until the major genocide for one hundred days in 1994. Over one million people were brutally murdered while the world looked the other way. It really hits home when you are here where it happened. Only sixteen years ago. When you have friends who survived; friends who saw things no one should ever see; friends who have forgiven, but can’t forget.






At the Kigali memorial site there is a circular room with wires strung along the walls. On these wires hang photos of victims, placed there by loved ones who survived. As I entered this room I could no longer keep the tears in. There were probably 1,000 photos. And there could be 1,000 rooms of the same, holding photos of each individual who lost their life. It’s quite possible to start crying and never stop.





My friend Cindy visited Rwanda a few years ago. I asked her for thoughts about her experience there. She told me she learned that we are all capable. It might be hard to comprehend that, but I believe it to be true. Genocide happens because of racism and hatred; because of poor education, illiteracy, authoritarian governance and intolerance. It doesn’t happen in an instant, it builds slowly in the absence of tolerance, education, democracy and social justice.

I am completely amazed at this country and its lovely people, how far they have come! They are moving on and changing their future. They are open, developing, learning, and loving. It is truly a pleasure and an honor to be here.

I'm A Citizen

I am sitting in the Johannesburg airport on my way to Rwanda. How fast time goes. It seems like such a short time ago I left home to come to South Africa; yet J-Bay has become so normal and comfortable, in a good way. My time here has been just lovely.

The last week or two has been busy - helping at Noah’s Ark, doing other volunteer things here and there, hiking up to a 'window' in a mountain, watching another sunrise and taking many photos (I’m up to my eyeballs in photo editing ☺). All the while I have been so blessed by everyone here with dinners, hang outs and even a going away party. It’s very bittersweet to be leaving behind a ‘family’.

Last day at Noah's Ark









I’m not sure how to wrap things up. How can I sum up two months of diverse and life changing experiences in a few paragraphs? It isn’t possible.

Thinking back to my first impressions when I arrived here, so much has changed. It’s amazing how traveling and volunteering (for even a short time) can expand your mind and change your thinking dramatically. It teaches so much. I feel sometimes like a perpetual student. And having that opportunity is not something to be taken for granted. One of my friends here said this past weekend, “I can’t imagine being from a first world country.” We were talking about how things can be much easier for those of us who were given the privilege. Do what you can, for those who can’t.

Africa is a beautiful place with so much to offer. There’s so much opportunity for us (as Planet Earth) to benefit from these offerings. I am learning to think in a ‘we’ mentality. Not as a ‘Canadian,’ but as a citizen of the world. We are all in this together! Taking care of each other is not someone else’s responsibility, it’s yours as a citizen of this planet.

As the World Cup opening draws closer here in South Africa, there is much excitement and national pride - flags, t-shirts and everything else imaginable. It reminds me of Canada during the Winter Olympics earlier this year. It was a special moment for our country and I am excited for South Africa, and Africa as a whole, to have that moment. I hope this national pride really sparks something in the people here, binding them together in unity.

Can we have that feeling of national pride as citizens of the world? I really hope so. We were born wearing the jersey... look around and you'll see!










Photoshoot in the township with Becky